No one to share my victory with

Sometimes, being wakeful at 3am is a bad thing. I just finished prepping an order of 3 to ship today, and there is no one awake to share the victory with. I had to force myself into it, and it was hard, but I got it done. Go me.

Thought

Ants swarm the body of a fallen baby bumblebee.

Has the Egg Cracked?

I'm really worried about myself, and not in the detached, clinical way I see most of my symptoms. I am really unhealthy right now, mentally and physically, and am having trouble dealing with life as it happens to be.

If you're going through Hell...

Keep on going.
Don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
you might get out
'fore the devil even knows you're there.



Comfort.

Here we go again....

I have been denying it to myself, but it is undeniable. The hip pain is back. It may be sciatic nerve related. Very painful. I see the pain clinic on Friday, and will see if they can do anything. I need to have imaging done.

Joy, spasm in my lower back.

Pain

I just want... the pain... to end.

How many times have you said this to yourself? I know I repeat the phrase pretty often. If only the pain would let up, if only, if only.

I don't know that I deserve the pain to let up, I don't know that I take well enough care of myself. If I took better care of myself, I wouldn't have these problems.

This is flawed thinking, but I get stuck in loops of it. It is hard to address.

SCD and Gluten Free Links

SCD Lifestyle is the easier of the websites to understand. It talks about all sorts of digestive trouble, and one of the writers has celiacs.

http://www.scdlifestyle.com/
http://breakingtheviciouscycle.info/
http://www.glutenfreesociety.org/